Ever wonder why it is that some people thrive through life and others seem to be a constant victims? I have always been obsessed with this concept, and here’s what I’ve found.
At first, I wondered if it was looks if it was upbringing or background if it was luck if it was who they knew, or if it was just luck of the draw.
I began looking at myself and the direction I’ve taken when things didn’t go to plan - or even if they did. I seemed to have that factor that kept me positive, happy, confident, and doing well, however life has also dealt me some rocky relationships, addiction in many corners of my life, an accident that caused a life-altering disability, major daddy issues from my parent's divorce and major feelings of rejection from when my dad left.
I realized in all of those situations, I tended to always focus on the question, “What can I do?”. This question began at a young age when I would ask it with the desire to do something that would get me love and attention. This instilled an over-achiever inside of me, but that question became more than just doing well. That question quickly redirected my focus on what was in my control and what I was capable of, rather than asking myself things like “why me?”, which would have directed my focus on the negative things about me that could have caused bad things to happen to me.
The added benefit of this question is that whenever opportunities present themselves, I can quickly act on them as I search my brain for what I can do to seal the deal. I recently won a huge opportunity to have my story filmed as a salesumentary with Jeremy Finlay. There were almost 1,500 people in the audience when he asked for people to volunteer to try and win it by going on stage and captivating the audience in just 60 seconds. My hand shot up and my mind went to work searching for what I could do at that moment.
I left nothing on the table and went for it with my whole heart. I was one of five people to win! Afterward, many people came up to me to talk about that moment on stage. Half of them went on to tell me how inspired they were by my 60 seconds. The other half told me they were so mad at themselves for not raising their hand. They talked themselves out of even raising their hand and so their chances of getting picked immediately went to zero.
All day long we are given opportunities to raise our hand, speak up, make a move, take an action, make the phone call, say yes, say no… and most people will talk themselves out of that inspiration because of the question they ask themselves and the reasons they tell themselves why it won’t work out.
What if you simply changed the focus from what you are gaining versus what you are lacking? What if you changed your focus from what is bad to what is good? What if you changed your focus from what is in your control versus what is out of your control? What if you changed your focus from who you are now to who you want to become and based your next move on what they would do?
Talk about a game changer. Talk about changing your life!
So instead of being one of the ones who talked themselves out of raising their hand for that contest, be the one on stage winning because you went for it!