Clean Up

December 23, 2019


Clean Up

While riding ATV’s 7 years ago with another couple, my boyfriend at the time (Sean, now husband) went up ahead on the trail to ensure it was safe. I saw the other guy on top of the hill waving us up, and proceeded up the trail. What I didn’t know was that Sean was making his way down to get me and the other girl. 


When I came around the bend, I saw Sean heading straight towards me and I panicked. I jerked the handlebars to get off the trail, not seeing a ditch. My front wheels caught the ditch and I immediately began flipping through the air, the massive ATV landing on me twice before throwing me against a fallen tree. 

Sean rushed over, total terror on his face. He’d done everything he could to keep me safe, yet a horrible accident had occurred.  He felt he had failed me. 


Years later I’d always told him, myself and everyone else that I didn’t blame him one bit. However while doing some deep emotional work, I finally admitted to myself the ugly truth. In my head, I had harbored blame  - typically playing out on bad days when I’d think to myself “well if he hadn’t put me in this chair....”. 

It took a long time to admit this to myself, and once I did, I decided to come clean and release us both. I shared a powerful moment with Sean, being honest about my ugliness, offering total forgiveness, and asking him for forgiveness for how I’d behaved. 


It was truly cleansing, healing and what I refer to as “cleaning the window”. Once you offer forgiveness, you become totally clear about how your actions can be swayed by feelings of guilt, bitterness or others that can keep you from acting out of clear intentions - Both of us had felt obligated rather than acting out of love. 


This holiday and always, I invite you to practice the beautiful Hawaiian practice of Ho’oponopono in which you take 100% responsibility for your reality. It’s only 4 phrases and can heal generations. 


I love you

I’m sorry 

Please forgive me

Thank you


Repeat until you feel the shift. It may be subtle, but you will be able to feel in both you and the other person a moment when the window has been cleaned - and things will never look the same again. 


New @TonyRobbins podcast has just been released featuring my story. 

I hope it inspires many windows to be cleaned. ✨ 








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